Living experience on a raw food farm

Day 24 1/5/05

I called Aajonus again today. He told me to call between 7:00 and 9:00 am. I called at 6:59am, I didn’t know if he was going to be busy or not, I wanted to make sure I got him. His answer machine picked up saying, “Thanks for calling Optimal Health etc, please call back between 7 and 9 and you will be able to reach me directly.” I hung up, waited till my clock said 10:07 am (3 hour time difference) and called again. He picked up. He said he woke up a little late today and he was putting the chickens out. He has a very nice sounding, half-grandfatherly, half middle aged confident man voice. He said he lived in Malibu, I asked him if he surfed. He said not here, it’s too cold, in Hawaii he did though. He said he stood up the very first time he got on a board. He asked my name, I told him Nathan Donahoe, he said, “Oh are you Hawaiian?” I said, “No”, not understanding. I told him I was half-Russian, half-Irish. There was a pause while he was writing my name down. I suddenly got the joke and said, “Oh, Tiny Bubbles.” He laughed and said, “You’re pretty young to know “Tiny Bubbles”. We both laughed. I set up an appointment with him. Saturday Jan 22 1:30 pm at his house. I don’t know how I feel. I feel that I have reached the end of a very long and tiring journey. I tried Standard American Diet, that didn’t work, I tried Hippie, Tai-Chi, meditating mountain boy organic vegan, that didn’t work. Then Sally Fallon, etc. I’ve tried every way of eating possible except this one, so this must be it. I just graduated from cooking school; my parents are going to be pissed. “Sorry Mom and Dad, I can’t cook for you, it’s bad for you.” I wonder if they are going to freak out if I start eating raw liver in front of them. Are they going to let me still live with them? They probably will. I don’t think they will understand though. Not many people will. I just want to feel better. My parents want me to make money and pay off my debts and be happy. They are right, I need to do that, I need to make myself healthy first. I need to find out what the truth is so I don’t live my life never feeling good enough. It’s going to cost $300 for Aajonus. My parents won’t understand. I feel bad using them for their money, it is something I have to do right now. I can never help people until I understand how to help myself. I feel like I don’t even want to cook for people anymore. I have no idea what’s going to make people healthy. Aajonus does, he’s been dong this and helping people with it for over 20 years. I’m not going to go around professing I know what people need to eat now to feel better. I’m tired of that. I’m tired of information and knowledge and opinions. I’m tired of the vegans hating the animal eaters, the animal eaters hating the lard and raw milk eaters, the Aajonus raw, rotten meat eaters hating the Sally Falloners. I’m tired of every one fighting. I’m tired of everyone’s opinions. I’m tired of my opinions and acting like I know what I’m talking about, when what I know to be true changes every couple of months. I feel like I never want to have another opinion as long as I live. It just fucks me up and separates me from people. I am not going to be someone walking around preaching the values of raw meat, I don’t care anymore. I just want to surf and help people. I don’t feel like I can help people right now in my current state of health. I was so sure of it a couple of weeks ago. Every time I think I found something that works, I get disappointed. I’m even afraid to do Vedic Astrology now. I don’t want that to be another dead end. I gutted and cleaned 4 chickens today. Peter killed them, thank God, I don’t want anymore scars. I ate a liver, threw up in my mouth, and forced myself to swallow it. I ate some of the unlaid eggs that were in the birds. They actually taste good, normal people would like them. Ate some lung, tiny piece of poop. No intestines or contents today. Maybe soon though, before I leave Albert’s. There is a thing called the oil sac on the back butt of the bird. Usually, we cut it off because it’s not supposed to be good for people. Ruth (Homer Adams’s sister) says that’s where the birds’ hormones are. I cut it off and tasted it, it actually tastes really good. I was surprised. Normal people would like it. Really busy today, a lot of orders. Lucy and Lisa are playing with me a lot now. Lucy was playing with a sauerkraut jar today. We’re trying to use psychology to get her to eat it. Marie, Albert and I would smell it and say “Ahhhh” or “Yum-Yum” to try to get her to eat it. We would say, “Mmmmmmmm…Candy” or “Pop-Pop (popcorn)”; it didn’t work. The pigs always bite me when I go into their pens to move their bowl closer so I can dump food into it. I think they move the bowl far away on purpose¹. That new Jersey is gorgeous. Her face looks tie-dyed. Absolutely gorgeous. Breakfast was Egg-nog, raw eggs, something else. Snack was gross chicken organs and egg-nog. Dinner was raw veal cubes, potato soup, cream and honey. I took some unfrozen veal cubes from the fridge. Albert wouldn’t mind. Vas? (what) They made me feel good, hard to chew.

1 Pigs are smart and dangerous. Sometimes I would stumble and fall while I was trying to feed them in their pen. They would swarm all over me and bite my boots. If I ever got knocked unconscious in a pig pen, I would be a goner!